Batman vs the Gold Clown
by Windrises
Summary: The Joker tries to steal some gold that's worth over a million dollars.


Notes: Batman is not owned and created by me. This story is dedicated to William Dozier, Adam West, and Cesar Romero.

A rich gentleman named Mr. Jay was at Gotham's museum to present the gold that he found. While Mr. Jay presented the gold to a crowd of people the Joker and his henchwoman, Margot Craig, went into the museum. Mr. Jay said "This gold was really hard to find, but it's worth a few million dollars."

The Joker smiled and said "Those few million dollars will be a treat for me."

Mr. Jay replied "You're that annoying clown that Batman always defeats."

The Joker stubbornly said "Batman got lucky all of those times, but after I steal the gold I'll be the lucky one. Ha, ha!"

Mr. Jay responded "Well I'm sure that the guards will take care of you."

The Joker said "I wish the guards could help you, but I'm afraid that they're suffering the wrath of my laughing gas."

Margot Craig asked "Do you want me to grab the gold?"

The Joker responded Yes, but since I took care of the guards don't worry about having to hurry."

Mr. Jay said "Please excuse me. I have to powder my shoes."

The Joker replied "Okay I guess."

Mr. Jay snuck to the phone booth and reported to Commissioner Gordon about the robbery. Since Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara aren't that great at their job they called Batman.

Bruce Wayne was at his mansion relaxing. Of course relaxing was something he didn't get to do very often. Alfred Pennyworth told Bruce that the phone was ringing. Bruce rushed to the phone and said "Hi Commissioner Gordon. What's going on?"

Commissioner Gordon answered "The Joker and Margot are stealing Mr. Jay's gold. The gold is worth over a million dollars."

Bruce said "Of course I'll help you, but I have one really important question: How did the Joker get out of prison this time?"

Chief O'Hara answered "The Joker bet that if I opened his cell door for 20 seconds he could escape. I told him that wouldn't be enough time to escape which is why I opened the cell door."

Bruce asked "You risked the Joker escaping for that silly reason?"

Chief O'Hara said "Yeah. I'm sorry."

Bruce replied "I'll go to the museum and take care of the Joker."

Several minutes later the Joker and Margot had gathered up most of the gold. The Joker said "I'm going to be the richest person in Gotham. Ha, ha!"

Margot asked "Wouldn't Bruce Wayne still be more rich than you?"

The Joker answered "I dislike Bruce Wayne. He's annoying like Batman."

Margot said "But he's kind of handsome."

The Joker stubbornly said "Bruce Wayne and Batman are equally ugly."

Margot replied "However you're the handsomest guy in Gotham."

The Joker said "I can't argue with that fact."

Batman came in and said "You're going back to prison. That's a fact, not a predication." Margot waved at Batman. Batman waved back and said "You shouldn't be working for this dastardly clown." Margot frowned at Batman.

The Joker laughed and replied "Welcome Batman. I've been waiting for you. You should give me your phone number so we can meet up faster."

Batman said "I find is strange that you've been waiting for me to come here considering that I'll defeat you. Perhaps this is your way of giving up crime. If you do that your prison sentence will be reduced."

The Joker replied "I would never give up."

Batman said "Then I assume you have a trap planned for me."

The Joker smiled and said "I have a great trap planned for you Batman. I'll enjoy it, but you might not be too crazy about it." The Joker sprayed knock out gas on Batman.

Batman replied "I excepted you to try knock out gas which is why I took a pill to protect me before I came here."

The Joker said "Well it seems like I'll have to use my next plan." The Joker and Margot started running out the museum with the gold. Batman ran after them. The Joker and Margot got into the Jokermobile. Batman got into the Batmobile and decided to follow the Joker.

Margot said "Batman is after us Joker."

The Joker replied "Don't worry. I've got a good plan that will make Batman let us go with the gold."

Margot asked "What are you going to do sweetie?"

The Joker answered "I'm going to go to Bruce Wayne's mansion and kidnap Bruce Wayne. I'll threaten to get rid of him if Batman doesn't let us keep the gold."

Margot said "I'm worried that won't work."

The Joker replied "Don't worry my dear. Batman's too nice to let me hurt Bruce Wayne so he would let me have the gold so Bruce can live. I'm going to be the richest criminal in Gotham. The Penguin and Riddler are going to be so jealous that they'll probably be willing to become my sidekicks just to get some of the gold. Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Batman followed the Joker for several minutes, but he started to notice that the Joker was close to Bruce Wayne's mansion. Batman was getting a little scared.

The Joker and Margot arrived at Bruce Wayne's mansion. The Joker knocked on the door and said "Let me in butler dude."

Alfred said "I'm sorry sir, but villains aren't allowed in here."

The Joker replied "If you don't open the house door I'll huff, puff, and blow your mansion down." The Joker tried to blow the mansion, but he accidentally spit on the house door.

Batman snuck into Bruce Wayne's mansion by going through the Bat Cave. Batman whispered to Alfred "I have a plan on how to take care of that bratty clown. Open the house door and find a place to hide. I'll take care of everything else."

Alfred said "Okay Master Wayne um I mean Master Batman." Alfred opened the house door and snuck away.

The Joker asked "Where's Bruce Wayne?"

Batman answered "I figured out your plan Joker so I found a place to hide Bruce Wayne."

The Joker said "You manage to make being smart a problem Batman."

Batman replied "The smartest thing a person can do is obey the rules of morality and the law. Sadly you haven't tried obeying the rules."

Margot said "Rules are boring and too hard to follow. The Joker is way more fun than you Batman."

Batman replied "There's nothing less fun than being evil."

The Joker looked around Bruce Wayne's hideout and asked "Where did you hide Bruce Wayne?"

Batman answered "He's not hiding anywhere nearby. You have nobody to hold for ransom Joker."

The Joker said "Actually there's somebody here to capture." The Joker found Alfred and grabbed him.

Batman got nervous. He said "Please don't hurt him. He's a good person."

The Joker replied "Well let me leave with the gold or I'll get rid of this old butler."

Batman said "I can't let you destroy anybody so just go."

The Joker smiled and said "Thank you Batman. I get to keep the gold Margot."

Margot replied "I'm so proud of you."

After the Joker and Margot walked out Alfred said "I appreciate you saving me, but the gold was more important."

Batman replied "No Alfred. There's nothing more priceless than the citizens I protect. However it's a shame that the Joker got all that gold that he doesn't deserve. Maybe I can get the gold back." Batman got into the Batmobile and started driving after the Joker.

Meanwhile the Joker and Margot were driving back to the hideout. Margot looked back and said "The car's trunk door is open Joker."

The Joker replied "I opened it to get some fresh air."

Margot said "But we put the gold in the trunk. The gold could of fallen out."

The Joker parked the car to check on the gold. All of the gold had already fallen out of the trunk. Batman said "The gold fell out several minutes ago so I gathered up the gold and handed them to the museum's guards."

The Joker angrily said "You ruined all of my plans Batman. I'm going to beat you up for that." The Joker punched Batman. Batman kicked the Joker. The Joker kicked Batman in the face. Batman fell on the street, but he managed to get up before getting hurt. The Joker ran around the street to get Batman. A car almost ran the Joker over. The driver of the car managed to stop in time, but Joker was scared enough to pass out. Batman took the Joker off the street before he got hurt.

Margot said "Wow Batman. You saved his life despite how much you two gentlemen don't get along."

Batman replied "I believe that everybody deserves to be saved even him."

Margot said "Well since you saved him I'll surrender."

Batman replied "I appreciate that."

The Joker said "I don't like that."

Batman took the Joker and Margot back to prison. Commissioner Gordon said "You did a great job Batman. I wish we could properly thank you."

Batman responded "Seeing Gotham's citizens safe and happy is the only thanks I ever need."


End file.
